Livin’ COVIDA Loca

May you be resilient if you have been or will be experiencing challenges. May you creatively find ways to go beyond resilience and even thrive.

I’m feeling compelled to share my experience with corona virus in Canada:

Since March, I have been in 3 countries (including 5 provinces in Canada). I have been to 8 different airports. I have been on many airplanes, trains, subways, buses. I have seen scores of clients in multiple cities.

In the deepest periods of the lockdown here in Montreal (which was, at the time, in the top ten cities with the highest cases per million inhabitants), I made it a practice to go and see a different friend (from 2m away) each day. During this time I was stopped by police multiple times for, to name a few: walking up stairs in a park, driving on a highway an hour’s drive from my place of residence, and playing frisbee. It was recommended to me by police that I carry ID with me. At one point, when I told people I was flying to the USA, for example, I was surprised that most people didn’t know that that was possible. What a mindset that has been and is in formation!

I have been tested 5 times, all negative.

I have had an antibody test (September), also negative, showing that I have likely never contracted the virus.

I take government advisories not as orders, but as non-binding reminders that something is afoot. I rest in the not-knowing, balancing paranoia and trust. Though not super strict with my personal COVID protocols, I am not reckless, care-less, nor do I defy the law. I take care to protect myself and others. And, I continue to live and thrive.

I received the emergency benefit from the Canadian government for two months until I could generate enough money on my own to live.

I am very fortunate (we are so very fortunate here in Canada).

I am so very fortunate to not have a compromised immune system.

I also live with fortitude. And I recognise that my fortitude comes, in part, from my good fortune and privilege.

I share this here not to compel you to do what I do. I don’t pretend that I am invincible or immune, or that I know something you don’t. I share this here to demonstrate that good news may also be a part of what informs you and the way you engage during these times.

May you be resilient if you have been or will be experiencing challenges. May you creatively find ways to go beyond resilience and even thrive.

I don’t believe that being responsible necessarily means that we need to stop living fully (and then, what does that mean, exactly?). And, yes, may this new addition to our lives change the way we live!

 

As we adapt, let’s be able to respond from a place of safe, but not repressive, boundaries.

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solstice outro

Awakening. Enlightenment. Higher and higher levels of consciousness. Seeking the light. Becoming the light. Being the light. Going beyond the light. Receiving transmission. Giving transmission. Sitting at the feet of the guru. Excitement. The guru must know. Burning incense. Reading spiritual books. Chanting. Meditating. Doing yoga. Liberating the inner child. Getting there, getting there. Discovering the true self. Transcending the ego. Going beyond mind. Sending. Descending. I sending again. Opening Chacras. Attaining unimaginable powers. Miracles. Mysterious happenings. Insight upon insight. Being human. Nonhuman. Trans human. Met a human. Going beyond to duality. Going beyond going beyond duality. Going beyond “going beyond going beyond”. Who goes beyond? Seeing the nonexistence of ‘I’. The source of Self. Who sees? Who asks?
Stop, friend. Breathe.
Your elderly father’s hand brushes against yours as you walk together through the park.      Never to be repeated, a moment.
Contact. And insurrection.
   Be here, it whispers. You get this only once. Be here.

-Jeff Foster

“Let’s go,” you said, tugging at my shirt.
“Let go,” I said, standing still.

When I first breathed you, your human body was anything but an empty vessel. Yet, in very short order, you spoke of integrating nearly all the medicines at hand. The conundrum—the mindfuck—of duality compelled you to the nth degree.

“Breath is life”
“Life lives us”
“We’re the medicine”
Ole, have you integrated this life?
This human-ness?
Human
Humane—and what a mane it was at times!
A lion’s mane
No tropics, but
Streets of Montréal
Bicycles in Mexico City
Forested Catskills of New York
Maria Sabina criss-crossing southern Norway….
____

Ole, you saw something in me that I was reluctant to see in myself. So persistently, so incessantly, you coaxed it out of me.

You, my mirror charmer.
You had me at “love-thyself.”

To love you as much as you loved me was your guidance toward loving myself even more.
I thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
____

And, you were also reaching out.

You, human, man, who have left your peaceful mark on so MANy, were transitioning from being constantly enrolled to enrolling others. At first, you cringed at the word leadership. Embody the toroidal field, I implored: your reaching out will also be reaching in. You were
a student of a-waking,
(your body often shaking)
an elder in the making
yes, that’s right, a king.
____

“There’s more,” you said.
“What’s the rush?” I replied. “There’ll always be more.
Besides, isn’t this enough?”

Enigmatic only by your own design
of constantly evolving paradigms
the hiss of the word blissssssss, full
of so much choice
and a growing voice
stillness to noise
and back again
to the All
the One
the Only
so many, yet
so l[One]ly

You embodied the etymology of human expression.

verbal
vocal
primal
prime
p-rhyme
no mime
more meaning
than meme-ing
Your wordPLAY was nothing less than a key to the collective gene-i-Us

As gene-rous and gracious as you were, you were also insatiable. Not in a wild way (?), but resolute.
Absolute.
Nothing moot.
The only word lacking in enacting was maybe, maybe, maybe:

Root.
____

“I’ll do it alone,” you said.
“I know,” I said. “There’s nothing I can do about that.”

And so it was: a solstice outro.

Ole, may you be blissed.

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