To have the intention to improve the quality of our life experience or to explore consciousness is a gift and is noble. With 5, one cannot programme the experience entirely. One can, however, allow the experience to be what it is, and learn from it by noticing how we respond to it. A conscientious practitioner can greatly assist with that.
attention: 1) notice taken of someone or something
Attending to what is present is different than intending something to happen.
The first time I inhaled a pipe filled with a likely huge amount of bufo alvarius secretion, I had no intention. I actually had no reason to take that inhale. I didn’t even know what it was. It was offered to me haphazardly and without even asking myself why I would do this, I said yes. I trusted something. I still don’t know what it was that I trusted.
For some reason there was very little resistance in my system and my experience—a full release as I came to understand it— was everything that one would prefer it to be. With my friend who was present and with the provider, I laughed and danced and revelled in the glory of all that we are.
It doesn’t happen like that all the time.
Many are not so fortunate. In this psychedelic renaissance, many use ‘consciousness medicines’—as Françoise Bourzat would call them—without even knowing what they’re using. Weekly, I hear from people who have had difficult experiences with 5/bufo, typically because they had no idea what they were getting themselves into (and/or the practitioner did not create a safe, secure, solid, sacred container). Even so, does one have to have a reason to use them?
conscious: 1) aware of and responding to one’s surroundings; 2) having knowledge of something; 3) [of an action or feeling] deliberate and intentional;
—from Latin conscius ‘knowing with others or in oneself’
Half a year or so after my first experience, the idea came to me to have another session. This time I asked myself why. I had no ‘why’ the first time. I couldn’t imagine how there may be more of singularity to explore. I did wonder, however, how I may get more out of the personal development work that would follow.
Because from that first time, I began to love myself. I immediately accepted myself more than I ever had. More than an act, I was in acceptance, in the love. I was more aware that I had not been accepting myself—and of how that affected my relations with others. I appreciated this (and the grief it brought) and thought that there may be more aspects of myself that I could draw my attention to.
An intention to simply pay attention.
consciousness: a person’s awareness or perception of something ; the fact of awareness by the mind of itself and the world
aware: having knowledge or perception of a situation or fact; concerned and well informed about a particular situation or development
When consciousness expands, what one is aware of encompasses ‘more’. The content of that ‘more’ is often not programmable or foreseeable. Stan Grof has called the expanded consciousness one experiences with breathwork a non-specific state. Given the vast array of experiences that can be had with 5/bufo, it would be safe to say that 5/bufo is also a non-specific medicine. I do believe that it has a specific function: to reveal that very impersonal realm of oneness. To arrive at that state, the personal must be relinquished.
As individual consciousness expands to the point/diffusion of a non-dual state, any specific desire the person has had is incorporated in the All. If an intention were to be still identified, that would mean that there’s still an identifier.
Who creates intention?
How do you make God laugh? Tell them your plans.
resist: (verb) withstand the action or effect of; try to prevent by action or argument
resist: (noun) a resistant substance applied as a coating to protect a surface during a process
The very thing that formulates intention is the very thing that, in the 5 experience, is being asked to dissolve: the mind. Attachment to the mind’s intention—its aim, its plan—is yet another thread that needs to be let go of in order for the mind to surrender to what is being asked of it (to let go). When the attachment to what mind wants is being held on to, the energy of that hold can be experienced as resistance. So, we must let go of the reason ‘why’ we are even there, at that moment, bringing this substance into our body. As Rak Razam might put it, we must allow for the “heavenly permissions and protocols” to prevail. Perhaps even despite our intentions.
The peak experience (or, full release) is when attention is diffused to the extent that no specific point of focus is discernable or possible. Once the peak experience has passed, though, what one can do is direct attention to what is happening n the moment. Somatically, affectively, and cognitively there are signs, hints, and a trail of fresh tracks that would lead us back to the oceanic fullness of that One.
Pay attention (noticing), be with (presencing), and then respond (as opposed to reacting).
The grace in me after my first experience was that I had, thanks to my background in conscious connected breathwork, the wherewithal to attend to my experience by noticing what was going on for me. I looked to the ‘what’ as opposed to the ‘why’.
To have the intention to improve the quality of our life experience or to explore consciousness is a gift and is noble. One cannot programme the 5/bufo experience entirely. One can, however, allow the experience to be what it is, and learn from it by noticing how we respond to it. A conscientious practitioner can greatly assist with that.
Then, what is their intention?
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